Mudderella Toronto 2016: Recap & Review

Like all good things in modern Canadian life, it started with a Groupon.


Bleary-eyed and a little hung over on a hot morning in early July, I opened my email to find subject line: MUDDERELLA screaming at me. I was instantly enthralled.

I am familiar with the idea of TOUGH MUDDER, ever since that time at Rob's house when a drunk dude-bro forced me to look at hundreds of pictures of him competing in one (flattering, really...). As much as I wanted to get away from that guy (who admittedly had some pretty decent abs), I was actually really, really interested in the event itself: it looked AWESOME!

A testament to excellent branding and name choice, I instantly thought of TOUGH MUDDER when I saw the MUDDERELLA link, and sure enough...a muddy obstacle course!! YES!!!

While Tough Mudder is designed to be a 16-20 km slog, Mudderella comes in at 8-11, and is a celebration of female empowerment and sisterhood. The feminist in me bristles at the idea of "Tough Mudder for girls", but 8-11K is way more enticing to me than 16-20, so I guess - for this girl - umm, that's an accurate description. I can live with it. (Guys can run it, too, but they have to be invited by a female team leader. The participants seemed to be about 95% female. Props to the couple of guys who ran it in dresses.) (And, FWIW, 35% of Tough Mudder participants are female, so even more props to those fine, strong women!)

I'm writing this recap/review to encourage other gals to take part in future Mudderellas, because it was probably one of the top-10 best days of my life. Also, there were not a whole lot of info/reviews for the event when I was initially trying to figure out what it was, so hopefully this will be helpful to future Mudderellas, or ladies thinking of becoming Mudderellas. And make no mistake, once you do this, you are forever entitled to call yourself a MUDDERELLA!

L-R Me, Staci, Heather: Ready to RUN!

LOCATION:

Mudderella Toronto is actually held in KITCHENER, which is most definitely not Toronto. The course is set up around the Bingeman's property, which also features lots of camping, cabins and a whole lotta waterslides. It is an excellent choice, due to a variety of terrain and a good mix of wooded and open-field areas. It even has a landfill! (Which was super-smelly to run through.)

My husband Dylan was our designated driver, personal cheerleader, and photographer. (Thanks, Hon!) He was given a map of the course, and was allowed to traipse all over the open areas of the course to get great action pics of us on many of the obstacles. Sadly, there are no pics of us running through the forest areas or the landfill.

PDF of the course

ENTRY FEES & REGISTRATION:

On the Mudderella website, it was either $129 or $149 to sign up (sorry, can't remember :(). However, there were continuous Groupons available throughout July and August, and I believe we each paid $74.99 + tax to sign up. Once you purchased your entry, you had to sign up via the EventBrite website, and register to be on your team. Being on a team ostensibly ensures that you will all be assigned the same start time (waves run on the half-hour from 8AM - 1PM), but each person on my team was assigned a different start time. That ended up not mattering at all, because you can just show up and go with whichever wave is starting next. Not a single person checks or cares what time you start the run. We had decided to arrive for the 1PM wave, but we made good time on the highway and ended up running at 12:30.

We thought we were at the starting line

THE COURSE:

Mudderella Toronto 2016 was approximately 9.5K. There are KM markers helpfully posted as you run, but my mind kind of turned off after awhile and the signs had absolutely no meaning to me whatsoever. I do know that we passed a 9K sign shortly before arriving at the end.

One thing that was super-annoying: We waited for about 20 minutes in the starting pen for our wave to start. It was HOT. It was LOUD. We were EXCITED. Finally, the gates opened and everybody started to run. We ran, we screamed, we laughed, we turned a corner, and FULL STOP. WTF??? There was a SECOND "starting line" where we had to listen to a hyper-ass trainer on a platform attempt to pump us up, for what seemed like 45 minutes but was probably only 5. After evangelising about the power of sisterhood and supporting one another - ugh - she then led us in the most superficial of "warm-ups" before setting us free once again to actually start the course. Seriously, Mudderella organisers. Please cut this. I can see that it's meant to inspire us to feel strong and excited, but WE ALREADY FELT THAT WAY! It was just annoying and a real momentum killer, for my pals and me, at least. Extremely frustrating, annoying and useless. We are active, fit ladies, not only do we need more warm-up for an endurance race than 30 seconds of jumping jacks and a few squats, WE ALREADY DID IT FOR OURSELVES! At least move it to the starting pen next year. Honestly.

We thought we were starting the run. We were wrong. 

On the course, there were water stations every couple of kilometres, and at some point somebody gave us half of a banana. Heather wanted a second half of a banana, but she was too shy to ask for it.

We completed it in 2 hours, 10 minutes - should have been under 2 hours, except for a ridiculous wait on the last obstacle - but more on that below.

THE OBSTACLES:

Well, with a name like Mudderella, you expect to get muddy, right? YEEEAAAHHHHHH!!! Here's a brief overview of each obstacle that was included on the course this year: (Spoiler alert: some of them were pretty lame.)

1. Split Ends - this is a series of long bungee cord type things tied between trees, which you have to step over and under. Meh.

2. The Scramble - I can't remember what this one was! Sorry. :/ Reply in comments if you can elaborate - (UPDATE 09/10) - This obstacle involves crawling on your front over a grassy hill, under a large plastic net that is about 2' off the ground and 100m long. I kept getting my hair caught in the net :(

3. Step it Up - I think this is the one where you had to climb a wall - using tires nailed into that wall to get to the top, then climb down the other side. Ouch this one hurt me bad in a sensitive place when I straddled the top, but my long-legged ectomorph companions did not have the same problem.

4. Surprise Party - Our first mud dip!!! OMG I was so excited for this! Such a hot day, and the water was so nice and cool - ahhhhhh. It was about 3-ft deep, and you could duck down in and enjoy it.

5. Bobby Pinned - Sorry. Forget what this one was also. :( It might be the one where you had to pick up a log and run around a track. The logs looked like real logs, but they felt like prop logs made of styrofoam (i.e., not heavy). The pics make it look like you are a superstar.

6. Charlie's Angels - Another wall climber. I have literally no idea why it is named this.

7. Eye of the Tiger - Super fun. Crawl through thick mud under suspended wires. So muddy and awesome.

8. Squad Goals - Girl power! Give another girl a piggy-back for half, then switch places. This is the stupidest obstacle ever. It is not even an obstacle. I can do this in my backyard if I want, but I never, never, do, because no one thinks this is a fun or challenging thing to do. Just plain stupid, honestly.

9. Rise of the Shero - A tall wall that requires you to pull yourself up a rope to the top, then climb down the other side. Heather and Staci were aces at this, but I got scared of the height so I did not do it. :(

10. Strong Walls - Another wall-climber. Not particularly notable in any way.

11. Ain't no Mountain High - This was my favourite! Multiple hills, multiple muddy pools. You had to climb up the muddy hills, then slide into the muddy water. It was so much fun. We took some time to relax and enjoy the spa-like experience.

12. Triple Threat - A combination of mud/water pools, climbing and sliding, and going under wires again. This obstacle was an excellent way to get yourself as muddy as womanly possible before hitting the finish line. Heather took this opportunity to cover her entire head of hair in a mud helmet.

I accidentally slid uncontrollably down the hill and ended up like this

13. Stunt Double (aka THE GRAND FINALE) - As you approach this final obstacle, you can see the finish line about 100m past it, and you get EXCITED. Wooo Hoooo!!!! We DID IT!!!!!!!! Climb a scaffold to a 10-ft platform, then choose one of 4 jump-points to leap down onto a humongous inflatable cushion, then run your ass off to the finish line and VICTORY!! Fantastic, right? WRONG. FULL STOP. The Mudderella organisers could not have dropped the ball harder here. There was only one volunteer supervising the 4 jump spots, and when we got there, 3 of the jump stops were completely, well, STOPPED. Nervous Muderellas, who just murdered a 9.5K course and 12 other obstacles, frozen in fear of a fun jump onto a large soft cushion. I cannot imagine a more frustrating way to end this race: we were literally stopped dead still for 10-15 minutes, because fellow runners would neither jump nor move aside to let others go. Just stopped. Waiting. Irritated, annoyed, all momentum lost. It wasn't enough to kill my enthusiasm for the entire day, but seriously, if anyone organising a Mudderella is reading this, you really need to have volunteers up there to make these timid ladies step aside and let the rest of us go. It was a real buzz-kill after an amazing 2-hour adventure.

AFTER THE RACE:

When you cross the finish line, you get a Mudderella sweat band put on your head, then pick up a t-shirt, a protein bar, and a TALL BOY OF SHOCKTOP! Awesome.

There are lots of vendors and food trucks to buy stuff from, but I'm not really into that so I don't have much to add on that point.

For clean-up, there was a huge line leading into some hoses hung from the ceiling of a portable shower tent. The water was being pumped directly from the river. We didn't want to wait in that insane line, so we walked over to the river and just got right in and washed off there. Some people on the forums are claiming that the volunteer overseeing the ladies' shower area was a MALE (!?) and that he was timing 4-minute showers with a CELL PHONE (!!!!) I cannot speak to the veracity of this allegation, but if it's true, that's really, really disturbing. #pervo. Just rinse off in the river like we and hundreds of other people did.

HOW FIT DO YOU HAVE TO BE?

This is the question I've been asked most frequently. I am moderately fit: I go to the gym pretty much every day for 60-90 minutes. However, most of my focus is on lifting, and my cardio is limited to 30-minute daily HIIT sessions. Once in awhile I do 60 mins of steady-state low intensity cardio, but I always stick to low-impact machines like the elliptical or stationary bike. (I kind of knew this would be a problem for me, because I have difficulty completing a step class.) Thus, this race taught me that I need to expand my focus to include ENDURANCE. It also tore up my quads so bad that I was almost immobile for two days following the event. To prepare for next year, I will learn to run a 10K outside, go to step class at least once a week, and will make endurance training a bigger focus in my workouts. Thanks, Mudderella, for giving me the inspiration to become more well-rounded in my fitness focus!!

That said, you could probably do this course as long as you are able to be upright and active for 3 hours. I mean, you could probably walk it, but it would take 3-4 hours to finish. Ladies of all shapes, sizes, and ages were enjoying taking part, and sometimes they would just take a break and sit on a hill for awhile. Personally, I don't think I would enjoy it if it was that much of a chore to finish, but to each her own.

RANDOM BITS:

Parking - PAY FOR PREMIUM PARKING!!! Do so in advance, as it will sell out! Premium parking is $25, but you get to park right beside where all the action is. Other tiers are preferred and regular parking, at (I believe) $15 and $10 respectively. You will need to walk, walk, walk if you choose one of these options. Parking was available to purchase on the day for $20, and in a lot that was really far away from the centre of the action.

Fun factor - HIGH! I love the way this course was designed, so that as you are running one way on the path, ladies who've been there already pass by on the other. Lots of high-5s and encouragement happening between all the participants. It was an awesome feeling.

Photography - Your bib number is used to identify you in pics taken by professional photogs over the course of the race. They have a really good system for this: you get an email about a week after the event, with a link where you just enter your name and your pics come up. However, I only had 4 pictures taken over the whole thing: 2 of them were at the same obstacle, and one of them is actually of Staci. If you have a family member who can come and cheer you on, they will be able to get waaaayyyy better shots for you.

Fundraising - Mudderella has decided to attach itself to the Breast Cancer Research/Awareness movement (not sure which exact charity.) Supposedly some proceeds go towards this initiative, but the skeptic in me suspects that this is more of a for-profit venture, and those proceeds are likely miniscule. If you want to fundraise with your team, you can make a link and hit up friends and family for donations in support of your run. Personally, that's not something I really like to do. I ran this for myself, because I thought it would be fun and awesome, and it was. I hate the idea of hitting people up for money on the back of something I really wanted to do anyway. Personal choice, I guess.

Final Thoughts - A fantastic day with awesome friends and soooooo much fun!!! I cannot recommend this event highly enough!

Did you do Mudderella Toronto or another Mudderella? Ideas to share or discuss? Questions? Let me know in the comments!! xoxo

THE BEST Spicy Dill Beans!! (Tutorial w/ pics)

Helllooooo! This blog is going to walk you through how to make spicy, garlicky, delicious DILL BEANS, right in your own kitchen. These beans are excellent served as a garnish for a Caesar or Bloody Mary, or in any place you would have a dill pickle (like the back of a Volkswagen.) I like to just eat them right out of the jar and feel the burn in my mouth. Anyway, they are very, very good, and very, very strong. Eat them at your own risk.

Can properly to avoid giving your friends and family botulism.
Seriously.

I won't go into HOW to can things, cause there are sooooo many places you can go to find that, and if you're looking for canning recipes, I'm betting you know how already, anyway.

FWIW, this is my set up: jar boiler on the back left, lid heater on the back right, and my good ol' cooking pot front left and easy to access. I also keep a boiled kettle for when I need to top up the jar water.

Big bunch of beans! Obviously wash them first.

Start with about this many green beans - aka a big pile. This is about 4lbs, purchased for around $8 from my favourite local farm store and U-pick in London - Thomas Brothers Farm Market. It's located on Col. Talbot Rd. between London & St. Thomas - just past the 401. There is always tons of local seasonal produce for cheap cheap cheap! If you don't live near here, sorry for you :(

Wine and decorative watermelon are optional.

Next, assemble your spices! For these spicy beans, you will need dill seed, mustard seed, crushed red pepper flakes, and (ideally locally grown Ontario) garlic cloves.

Aerial view

Once your jars are processed (boiled for at least 10 minutes) - take them out of the water and add to each jar:

1/2 tsp dill seed
1/2 tsp mustard seed
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
1 whole clove of garlic (use a small or half-clove if you aren't a fan of garlic as a dominant flavour.)

The beans are in their home, now

Then, shove the beans all vertical-like into the jars. You can cut the nibs off if you want or need to. They will shrink a little, float, and soften up once they pickle, so pack 'em in tight, and don't worry if some of the tips touch the lids when you seal them.

It's lidding time!

Once the beans are in their final-resting-place jars, bring to a boil:

5 cups of white vinegar
5 cups of water
1/2 cup of salt (ideally pickling salt, but Kosher salt will work okay, too - just want to steer clear of salt with iodine or anti-clumping agents added)

Pour that liquid gold over your beautiful beans, to 1/4 inch from the lip of the jar. The beans will float, and that is just fine.

The only beans that did not get canned.
I ate them right after I took this pic.

Lid and ring those bad boys, then process them in your boiling water for 15 minutes. Remove and let cool. They will be best after 2 weeks or so, but I opened the first jar from this batch after only one week, and it was still pretty good.

Your beans are now shelf-stable for at least 1 year, but I'm betting there's no way they'll last that long!

Think of the plants...

Don't forget to compost your bean-ends and paper towels!

The finished product!!! Congratulations on a job well done! You are a culinary god/goddess! Go get yourself some more wine!








What are your favourite things to can? Do you have any questions about this recipe or the canning process? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading! xoxo

Chevron Ombre Nail Tutorial

Happy February!

It's never too early for a Valentine's Day mani, amirite? This one was inspired by Pinterest, and it's pretty much identical, except with less perfect lines and slightly different colours...

Anyway, here's the end result (minus cuticle clean-up):

Probably needs one more coat of Seche, also

I think it would work well with any colour group, but the pinks/reds are good for this particular season.

It's pretty easy, and you could probably guess how I did it without reading any further, but I need to write a blog right now, and so here we go...

The wine is my Constant. #Lost

These are the items I used:

1. PURE ACETONE remover - don't EVER settle for anything less
2. Skinny long craft paintbrush
3. Jackson-Triggs Cabernet Sauvignon, preferably from box
4. China Glaze Tinsel Town (sparkly charcoal)
5. Essie Fishnet Stockings (red)
6. Essie Mod Square (medium pink)
7. Essie Good Morning Hope (pale pink)
8. China Glaze Platinum Pearl (shimmery white base) (not pictured for some reason.)

Don't forget to use a good base coat first, obvi

Begin by selecting which nails will get which design. The thumb is always a toss-up. I've decided to make it decorative, but I might have had too much wine. It's your choice, really. For this mani, the pinkie and index fingers will be the neutral, grounding influences.

Do your bases, then 2 coats of the lightest colour in chevron form. If you screw it up, that's okay. This is a very forgiving design, with lots of opportunity to cover up errors in later stages.

This pink is probably my favourite colour ever

Now, take that medium colour, and get a chevron out of it!!

I went over each chevron 2-3 times for opacity reasons...

If you couldn't guess this next step, you need to drink less

That's right! Add that 3rd chevron, in your darkest colour...just do it. Do it now.

My favourite step

Next, you're going to make a little puddle of the colour you're using to outline on a magazine, and get that skinny brush out, and paint thin dividing lines between your chevrons.

Remember that most people will be looking at this from a distance of 1 metre or greater (as opposed to an ECU on a blog tutorial), so it's okay if it's not perfect. It will look good, I promise.

Also, don't hesitate to use a new blob of polish for each nail. It's important that the polish is not set AT ALL to get it to transfer smoothly from the brush to the nail. Go ahead, be wasteful. If you get cheap with this, you run the risk of blobby, hideous lines. Don't be that girl.

Top coat is trickier than it looks, especially with that deep red up top.

Finally, you need to add 2 coats of the wonder product, fast-dry top-coat, that is Seche Vite.

Make the first one really blobby, and be careful not to transfer the darker colour at the top onto the lighter colours at the bottom. The next coat can be used with pressure to smooth everything out.

Seche is ideally applied while your nails are still slightly wet or tacky. I don't know why, but it seems to bond with the wet polish? Anyway, it sets in about 60 seconds and provides the best shine of any top-coat I've ever tried.

Ta-da!!! That's it! An easy and fun project that looks cute, too.

What are your favourite designs for Valentine's Day? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading! xoxo

Ipsy Glam Bag Review - July, 2014

The blog is BACK, baby!

Whew - I just came off of the busiest year of my 17-year teaching career. As a result, I kind of neglected my web-baby, here - but today I'm back to feed it and change its diaper. Sorry, Bloglet, but life got in the way of you. I really would be a terrible parent.

But now its SUMMER! I've got my white wine spritzer, my Sirius Alt-Nation playing loud and proud, and I'm ready to WRITE!!

Anyhoo, I've been subscribing to Ipsy Glam Bags for about 6 months now, ever since I ended my dysfunctional relationship with TopBox sample service. Ipsy has been pretty great, and maybe that's why I don't write about it as much: it's more fun to write about things that are pathetically awful? Easier jokes, anyway...but I know a lot of ladies just like to read blogs about what other gals in the subscription service got, so I'll show y'all what Mr. Postman dropped at my door this month.

This bag looks ready to give birth to...

This is a picture of the bag that contains wonderful and mysterious products. Look how robust it is. Each month the Ipsy samples arrive in a "glam bag", and this month it is a charming-and-alarming neon pink pleather deal, with scalloped edges and an Ipsy-branded zipper toggle. I'm not sure what I am supposed to do with these bags. I gave a bunch away to some of the teenagers I teach, but I suspect most of them ended up at the bottom of lockers among discarded banana peels and "lost" journal assignments.

Variety is the (Moroccan) spice of life

This is a picture of the deflated bag, sadly draped over the dining room candles, while the fruits of its loins march proudly around it. It looks like a sad, dead carcass, turned inside out. It is really kind of a garbage item. However, its former innards are made up of some pretty good stuff.

Just feels wrong to say this out loud

Up first is "Tints and Sass," a lip- and cheek- stain that is approximately one vowel away from being an absolutely filthy name for a product.

I don't know anyone under the age of 80(?) who would use her lipstick as a blended cream blush, but this cutting-edge concoction is trying to bring that trend back for the hipsters of today. It's a weird, thin, oily liquid, but it SMELLS LIKE CANDY! A large lot of candy. Eh, it's okay. Goes on light, adds a nice little blush of cherry colour. There's no effing way I'm smearing it on my cheeks, though.

Dreaming of textiles and spice markets?

This is a hair-care product meant to "mend and prevent" split ends. I am skeptical of its claims at Moroccan ancestry, as the back small print proudly declares that it was MADE IN THE USA. What is the deal with Morocco? I don't get it...like, Moroccan oil is supposed to be some kind of wonder-serum? Do people there have awesome hair and tans? Let me know in the comments. Whenever I think about this (admittedly, probably more than a normal person should), I can only reflect on the lesson learned by Stephanie in this Newhart episode, where she thinks they are actually going to Monaco. Yeah, you're welcome.

Easier than cracking open a lobster, at least

Next we have bareMinerals Ready (I do not know why the 'b' is lower case, nor why they made one word out of two obviously separate words, so stop asking) eye shadow pallet a deux. These are colours that I will actually use, proving once again that Ipsy's customer profiles are actually used for consumer benefit, while TopBox's profiles apparently exist only to generate page hits and heartache. I like this, but the small and flimsy plastic case makes me feel like I have the condition known as sausage fingers. If my big, clumsy man hands can actually get this open once I have a few spritzers in me, I will probably wear it for an elegant evening look.

Cowabunga! Bring on the BURN :/

Oh, yeah, more of THIS, pleeeaaassseee!

This bottle of Hang Ten dark tanning oil makes me feel like Ipsy really gets me, you know?

I loooove tanning, and I loooove tanning oil. Smells awesome and it works! My only regret is that it isn't a 4 or a 2, but I will use it when building a base. I also like that it makes sure to let you know that it is "Water Resistant - 40 Minutes." Does that mean 40 minutes in the water, or 40 minutes after you come out? Doesn't matter - I'll probably get burned anyway! Eff you, sun-haters.

mmmm....Skunky!

Finally, we have wHet nail polish in "facetious" - another product with curious ideas about the rules regarding the use of upper- and lower- case letters. Ugh.

It falls on the colour spectrum between blue and purple. While pretty, I already have several other bottles that fill this niche. Oh, well, I don't mind adding another to the collection. It claims to be "three free" and "vegan" (???), but it absolutely stinks. Users may run the risk of passing out from fumes before completing their manicure. My only other problem with this selection is that it is most assuredly NOT a summer colour. I don't know about you all, but I'm kind of old-fashioned, in that I staunchly believe there should be no blue nails before Labour Day. Eh, I'll break it out around November and it'll probably be fantastic.

So that's it for Ipsy July! Did anybody else get some good subscription bag treats this month? Have you ever been to Moracco, or its neighbor, war-torn Algeria? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!! xoxo

New Subscription: Ipsy vs. TopBox! February 2014 Review

Okay, so you may be familiar with my Topbox FAIL that took place over the second half of 2013. Well, when I finally quit Topbox, I put myself on the wait-list for Ipsy, another beauty product subscription service. The wait-list for Ipsy is about 2-3 months, and I actually forgot that I'd signed up for it with a credit card until I got the ship notification in the old in-box.

Had I been required to actively sign up for the service, I likely would have declined the offer at this point. After a couple months of sober second thought away from the recurring disappointment that was TopBox, I have concluded that I really don't need any make-up and skin-care samples. At all. I have tons of make-up, skin-care products, and a whooole wall of nail polish, all of which I chose and purchased for myself.

BUT, I did miss having a regular blog subject, so...I'll stick with it for a bit, at least. Especially if the next few months are as good as this one!

So, you ask, what is the deal with Ipsy? Well, it is an American product subscription service, and it costs $14.95USD/month, including shipping. This works out to about $16.50CDN (Topbox was $13.65 all in). When you sign up for a "glam bag" (yes, the products actually come in a tiny make-up bag), you complete a survey that provides lots of details about your looks and preferences, so each bag is supposedly customized for the person who gets it. This is in contrast to Topbox, where everybody gets the same crap they could have just gone to Shoppers for. As a result, there is no product card included, but you can log onto their website for details about the products you receive.

Here are the things I got from Ipsy this month:

This is the bag! It is cheap and pink, but definitely re-usable.

I think I'll put dog treats in it.

Here are all the products, gathered together, relaxing on the edge of our deck. (It's winter!!)

This is a full-sized bottle of Zoya light pink nail polish. I can always use more nail polish! This, to me, is more of a summer shade, though, so I haven't tried it yet. It might be nice for a French Manicure base. For now, it will find its home on my nail-polish wall.

I would also like to note how happy I am that this is a normal colour, unlike the Gumby-green TopBox foisted on me last August.

This is a lip-gloss in a crowd-pleasing shade of cherry-pink. It has a "lip plumpers" in it, so it is a little fizzy-feeling. Still, it is pretty nice and I'll use it.

False eyelashes!! I have never used these ever in my life. However, fellow blogger megansgotmoxie (check out her A-Z Resto Tour on tumblr) is a real pro in this area, so perhaps I'll hit her up for a little help with them.

These kind of scare me, actually.

I looove this! It is a full-sized cream eye shadow from Eyetini. It has a nice smooth texture and it is a colour I will use.

Much nicer than the Loreal one-use foil pods TopBox was tossing around...

This is the only product I got this month that would qualify as a "sample", AND it is not a sample that you can readily get for free down the street at your local cosmetics counter. (Are you listening, TopBox???)

This is a 2-stage mask: clay base, and "activating gel". I haven't tried it yet, but it looks cool and I'm looking forward to slapping it on and looking like a swamp-monster for 10 minutes later tonight.



So, all things considered, I'm definitely sticking with Ipsy for a little while at least. This collection was way more interesting and useful than anything I ever got from TopBox. I'm glad I didn't cancel the subscription, too, because now I get mail! And have something to blog about!

Is anybody else out there getting Ipsy? Or another subscription box? Or has TopBox gotten better in the last couple of months? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading! xoxo

Topbox December 2013 Review: A Farewell

Well, wouldn't you just know it? This is my last month receiving Topbox, as I've cancelled any further deliveries. As luck (or bad luck) would have it, this box is the best one I've got yet. There is nary a product to mock. Not even a repeat. Ugh.

Tiny, but smells like a soap 10 sizes bigger.

The first item is my replacement "gift". Last month I got a repeat sample of those gawd-awful lipstick pods, so I let Topbox know via email. To their credit, they got back to me within hours, promising to throw this little soap into my box this month. And here it is!

It's about the size of a hotel soap, so it should be good for a week or so of showering. It smells really nice, and doesn't seem like the kind of sample they just hand out by the handful at Shoppers. Nice!

Buttery and tasty!

Next up is a little pot of Belvada Coconut Lip Butter. This stuff is literally the same consistency of butter, and it tastes just delicious. I will definitely throw it in my purse to have when I'm out and about. Soooo much better than those cursed lipstick pods I've (apparently) gotten so hung up on.

Who doesn't want more and more bottles of nail polish?

This is a full-sized bottle of Cuccio Colour "Dare to Dazzle" nail polish. It is a gold-sparkle that goes on pretty opaque.

For some reason, I did not get a product card in my box this month, so I have no idea what the deal is with this polish. I also can't find any reliable pricing on it via google, so I'm going to guess it's worth about $8? More than stupid lipstick pods, anyway...

Smells like camping

This is a 3 mL sample of Estee Lauder's perfume, Modern Muse. It's a little musky and woodsy for my tastes, but the bottle is pretty and you get a decent amount at least.

If Topbox had stuck with department-store brands like this on a more regular basis, I'd probably still be a subscriber.

WTF is this, really?

This is, for me, by far the worst product in the box this month. However, it is a decent-sized sample of a high-end brand, so I won't complain about having it included. I just don't like it at all.

Elizabeth Arden's "Eight Hour Cream/Skin Protectant" is like a red-tinted, slightly thinned petroleum jelly (?!). It smells like Silly Putty. It is really gross. I've had it on my hands for about 45 minutes now, and they are still tacky-feeling. I suspect that if there were a fly in here, it would get stuck to the back of my hand. This is fly-paper turned beauty product at its best.

I would consider putting this on my dry-cracked heels, covered by a plastic veggie bag and a wool sock, overnight to soften my feet. Otherwise, not a useful item (to me).



So that's about it. Goodbye, Topbox. The excitement of getting parcels from you was all too often followed by crushing disappointment about what that parcel actually had in it. You marketed yourself as a provider of "high-end samples", and I suppose it is true that "high-end" is a relative term. Unfortunately, I just don't like paying $13.61 (tax incl.) per month for things that were often available for free in pretty much every drugstore. I will say that you offered excellent customer service, and I suspect it's difficult to turn away offers from Cover Girl and Loreal to be featured in your boxes. This program just does not represent value to me, but others seemingly really enjoy it - at least based on the ecstatic testimonials on your facebook page. Best of luck to all the other Topbox subscribers out there - let me know in the comments if things ever get better!

Thanks for reading! xoxo