Ipsy Glam Bag Review - July, 2014

The blog is BACK, baby!

Whew - I just came off of the busiest year of my 17-year teaching career. As a result, I kind of neglected my web-baby, here - but today I'm back to feed it and change its diaper. Sorry, Bloglet, but life got in the way of you. I really would be a terrible parent.

But now its SUMMER! I've got my white wine spritzer, my Sirius Alt-Nation playing loud and proud, and I'm ready to WRITE!!

Anyhoo, I've been subscribing to Ipsy Glam Bags for about 6 months now, ever since I ended my dysfunctional relationship with TopBox sample service. Ipsy has been pretty great, and maybe that's why I don't write about it as much: it's more fun to write about things that are pathetically awful? Easier jokes, anyway...but I know a lot of ladies just like to read blogs about what other gals in the subscription service got, so I'll show y'all what Mr. Postman dropped at my door this month.

This bag looks ready to give birth to...

This is a picture of the bag that contains wonderful and mysterious products. Look how robust it is. Each month the Ipsy samples arrive in a "glam bag", and this month it is a charming-and-alarming neon pink pleather deal, with scalloped edges and an Ipsy-branded zipper toggle. I'm not sure what I am supposed to do with these bags. I gave a bunch away to some of the teenagers I teach, but I suspect most of them ended up at the bottom of lockers among discarded banana peels and "lost" journal assignments.

Variety is the (Moroccan) spice of life

This is a picture of the deflated bag, sadly draped over the dining room candles, while the fruits of its loins march proudly around it. It looks like a sad, dead carcass, turned inside out. It is really kind of a garbage item. However, its former innards are made up of some pretty good stuff.

Just feels wrong to say this out loud

Up first is "Tints and Sass," a lip- and cheek- stain that is approximately one vowel away from being an absolutely filthy name for a product.

I don't know anyone under the age of 80(?) who would use her lipstick as a blended cream blush, but this cutting-edge concoction is trying to bring that trend back for the hipsters of today. It's a weird, thin, oily liquid, but it SMELLS LIKE CANDY! A large lot of candy. Eh, it's okay. Goes on light, adds a nice little blush of cherry colour. There's no effing way I'm smearing it on my cheeks, though.

Dreaming of textiles and spice markets?

This is a hair-care product meant to "mend and prevent" split ends. I am skeptical of its claims at Moroccan ancestry, as the back small print proudly declares that it was MADE IN THE USA. What is the deal with Morocco? I don't get it...like, Moroccan oil is supposed to be some kind of wonder-serum? Do people there have awesome hair and tans? Let me know in the comments. Whenever I think about this (admittedly, probably more than a normal person should), I can only reflect on the lesson learned by Stephanie in this Newhart episode, where she thinks they are actually going to Monaco. Yeah, you're welcome.

Easier than cracking open a lobster, at least

Next we have bareMinerals Ready (I do not know why the 'b' is lower case, nor why they made one word out of two obviously separate words, so stop asking) eye shadow pallet a deux. These are colours that I will actually use, proving once again that Ipsy's customer profiles are actually used for consumer benefit, while TopBox's profiles apparently exist only to generate page hits and heartache. I like this, but the small and flimsy plastic case makes me feel like I have the condition known as sausage fingers. If my big, clumsy man hands can actually get this open once I have a few spritzers in me, I will probably wear it for an elegant evening look.

Cowabunga! Bring on the BURN :/

Oh, yeah, more of THIS, pleeeaaassseee!

This bottle of Hang Ten dark tanning oil makes me feel like Ipsy really gets me, you know?

I loooove tanning, and I loooove tanning oil. Smells awesome and it works! My only regret is that it isn't a 4 or a 2, but I will use it when building a base. I also like that it makes sure to let you know that it is "Water Resistant - 40 Minutes." Does that mean 40 minutes in the water, or 40 minutes after you come out? Doesn't matter - I'll probably get burned anyway! Eff you, sun-haters.

mmmm....Skunky!

Finally, we have wHet nail polish in "facetious" - another product with curious ideas about the rules regarding the use of upper- and lower- case letters. Ugh.

It falls on the colour spectrum between blue and purple. While pretty, I already have several other bottles that fill this niche. Oh, well, I don't mind adding another to the collection. It claims to be "three free" and "vegan" (???), but it absolutely stinks. Users may run the risk of passing out from fumes before completing their manicure. My only other problem with this selection is that it is most assuredly NOT a summer colour. I don't know about you all, but I'm kind of old-fashioned, in that I staunchly believe there should be no blue nails before Labour Day. Eh, I'll break it out around November and it'll probably be fantastic.

So that's it for Ipsy July! Did anybody else get some good subscription bag treats this month? Have you ever been to Moracco, or its neighbor, war-torn Algeria? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!! xoxo

New Subscription: Ipsy vs. TopBox! February 2014 Review

Okay, so you may be familiar with my Topbox FAIL that took place over the second half of 2013. Well, when I finally quit Topbox, I put myself on the wait-list for Ipsy, another beauty product subscription service. The wait-list for Ipsy is about 2-3 months, and I actually forgot that I'd signed up for it with a credit card until I got the ship notification in the old in-box.

Had I been required to actively sign up for the service, I likely would have declined the offer at this point. After a couple months of sober second thought away from the recurring disappointment that was TopBox, I have concluded that I really don't need any make-up and skin-care samples. At all. I have tons of make-up, skin-care products, and a whooole wall of nail polish, all of which I chose and purchased for myself.

BUT, I did miss having a regular blog subject, so...I'll stick with it for a bit, at least. Especially if the next few months are as good as this one!

So, you ask, what is the deal with Ipsy? Well, it is an American product subscription service, and it costs $14.95USD/month, including shipping. This works out to about $16.50CDN (Topbox was $13.65 all in). When you sign up for a "glam bag" (yes, the products actually come in a tiny make-up bag), you complete a survey that provides lots of details about your looks and preferences, so each bag is supposedly customized for the person who gets it. This is in contrast to Topbox, where everybody gets the same crap they could have just gone to Shoppers for. As a result, there is no product card included, but you can log onto their website for details about the products you receive.

Here are the things I got from Ipsy this month:

This is the bag! It is cheap and pink, but definitely re-usable.

I think I'll put dog treats in it.

Here are all the products, gathered together, relaxing on the edge of our deck. (It's winter!!)

This is a full-sized bottle of Zoya light pink nail polish. I can always use more nail polish! This, to me, is more of a summer shade, though, so I haven't tried it yet. It might be nice for a French Manicure base. For now, it will find its home on my nail-polish wall.

I would also like to note how happy I am that this is a normal colour, unlike the Gumby-green TopBox foisted on me last August.

This is a lip-gloss in a crowd-pleasing shade of cherry-pink. It has a "lip plumpers" in it, so it is a little fizzy-feeling. Still, it is pretty nice and I'll use it.

False eyelashes!! I have never used these ever in my life. However, fellow blogger megansgotmoxie (check out her A-Z Resto Tour on tumblr) is a real pro in this area, so perhaps I'll hit her up for a little help with them.

These kind of scare me, actually.

I looove this! It is a full-sized cream eye shadow from Eyetini. It has a nice smooth texture and it is a colour I will use.

Much nicer than the Loreal one-use foil pods TopBox was tossing around...

This is the only product I got this month that would qualify as a "sample", AND it is not a sample that you can readily get for free down the street at your local cosmetics counter. (Are you listening, TopBox???)

This is a 2-stage mask: clay base, and "activating gel". I haven't tried it yet, but it looks cool and I'm looking forward to slapping it on and looking like a swamp-monster for 10 minutes later tonight.



So, all things considered, I'm definitely sticking with Ipsy for a little while at least. This collection was way more interesting and useful than anything I ever got from TopBox. I'm glad I didn't cancel the subscription, too, because now I get mail! And have something to blog about!

Is anybody else out there getting Ipsy? Or another subscription box? Or has TopBox gotten better in the last couple of months? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading! xoxo