Topbox November 2013 Review!

Well, I guess it's time for another Topbox review. I hope I'm not starting to sound too broken-recordish with these things, but another month brings another collection of free samples that I paid $13 for, so...

Your face! Your beautiful face! What have they done to you???

This first item is actually pretty interesting. While at first glance it appears to be a (mafia-themed?) nail polish called "hi'tter Don", it is actually just a really banged-up bottle of Butter London "Come to Bed Red" nail polish.

This is my surprise bonus item. I paid $10 for it as an add-on this month. The promo email from which I ordered it promised "a full-size luxury product at 25-90% discount." Considering this item retails for $17, I have to begrudgingly admit that Topbox has met their promise on this one. I will, however, deduct good-will points for the fact that this is clearly damaged stock, which the company would have been unable to sell at full retail price. I'm curious to know if anybody else who purchased a bonus item received damaged/dented stock. Interesting revenue stream if they can make it work. It won't look too nice on my display rack, but I like that this is a high-demand new colour (currently sold out on nailpolishcanada.com). Well done, Topbox!

I'm not sure how to use this, but I will look it up someday.
Okay, truthfully, it will end up dusty and forgotten at
the bottom of my junk cosmetics drawer.

This pretty blue box contains my "replacement item". You may recall that I was double-"gifted" when, 2 months in a row, I received that crap-tastic tinted moisturizer. After I published last month's blog, I sent Topbox an email to complain about getting a repeat of the same product. They apologised and promised to send a bonus extra in this month's box. This "serum" isn't on the product card, but it was tossed in alongside everything else, so I'm assuming it is here for replacement purposes. I literally have no idea how to use it, or what value it brings to me. I haven't even opened it to see what's inside. Could be a "can of snakes" joke for all I know. I accept full responsibility for this. I know I can google it. I just. don't. care.

Does anybody want a snake oil serum sample? Maybe I'll put it in Dylan's stocking for Christmas!

Ugh. 

So, this is the first item from the actual, regular Topbox.

In a cruel joke by Topbox pack-masters (or cosmic retribution for all the wrongs I've done, depending on your point of view), it is another tinted moisturizer!

This one, however, is a different brand from the ones I received double of in September and October, so there's that. Still worthless to me, though. Still available to you, dear reader, for free at cosmetics counters across the land.

Like a sad cat that keeps showing up on your back doorstep in the rain. 

Does this look familiar to you? It does to me! Know why?

Because it is the EXACT SAME SAMPLE I got last month!

Topbox claims not to repeat products. They were very kind and apologetic about last month's repeat, and then they kick me in the teeth with another one!

Still "Sample. Not for resale".
Still ugly colours for me.
Still not gonna use it.

Booooo.

Where my dry-skin ladies at??

When you sign up for Topbox, you complete a "beauty profile" that outlines your colouring, skin-type, preferences, and so on. If comments on the Topbox facebook page are to be believed, it would seem that the profile is for decorative purposes only. Many gals complain of getting colours and products that are really not appropriate for them.

This is my entry into that category. It is an oil-cleanser. It is designed for people with dry skin to remove their make-up. My skin is normal-oily, so I would rather sleep with my make-up on than put this (for me) nocturnal zit-multiplier anywhere near my face. Profile-shmofile, right Topbox?

Smells like teen spirit

Here is my last Topbox item for this month: a tube-shaped perfume sample.

The perfume is really fruity-floral, and, like the last perfume sample I got, it seems like a scent that is much more appropriately worn by teenagers.

Why can't I get a Tresor sample like some other lucky ladies???

At least I know lots of teenagers, so I can easily find someone to pass this one along to.

Kind of a waste for me, though. Sigh.

So, that brings me to the end of another scathing blog about the disappointment materialized that Topbox has come to represent for me. Sadly, I will be cancelling my Topbox subscription this month. I will do one more blog (on December's box), and then I AM DONE!

I still want to blog, though, so I'm taking suggestions! Does anybody have ideas for regular blog features that would be fun to write and not waste $13 every month? I will still do random posts about nail tutorials and other things I can think of. I would really like to do a series of some sort, though. Please let me know if you have any ideas...

Did anybody else pay for a bonus product this month? What did you get? Was it damaged beyond retail presentability? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading! xoxo

October 2013: Crap-fest Topbox Review

Welcome to October! A month when the weather gets colder, the days get shorter, and the Topboxes get crappier. It is a dark time of year, indeed. If things keep going this way, I will not be surprised if November's Topbox is stuffed with poppies and Boston Pizza mints.

This blog is gonna be short and not too sweet. Seriously, this month's Topbox SUCKS!!! Sucky, sucky, sucky, sucky, sucks. It sucks so bad. How bad does it suck? Well, I have taken over a week to find the motivation to even sit down and write this thing, and writing this blog is something I usually really look forward to.

Because I like to avoid other people's reviews until mine's done, I haven't been on any blogs or boards yet to see what other gals are saying, but I'm going to try and write this quickly so I can indulge in the hatred that I can't imagine is not going on right now.

Here we go, in descending order from "okay, I guess" to "you're seriously charging me money for this?!":

I know I can get you for less than $12.99 if I close my eyes tight and believe.
And also if I wait for you to be on sale.

Last month I got the Wella Heat Styling Spray, which is a full-sized product I will actually use.



This month Topbox is "returning to the same well-a" (sorry), but with Stay Brilliant Colour Protection Lotion. I don't colour my hair, so this product is pretty much useless to me. It is supposedly worth $12.99 from your Wella professional.



I also went online to try and see what the real retail price is on this, but the wella.com website listed on the Topbox product card is ridiculously hard to navigate. Oh, well, I'm not planning to buy it anyway!


Okay, here it is at amazon.com for $7.94 USD. That's a terrible exchange rate, Topbox! For shame!

Meh. What is the deal with this company? Nothing special to see here, folks.

This is a face mask. Blarg. Who cares?

The only thing interesting about this product is that the label claims that it fights "glycation", a thing that I did not know existed. Also, that link does not make it a whole lot clearer to me. I guess it is something to be fought against, though. After my bath tonight I will have a little battle with glycation, and I'll let y'all know how that turns out. I guess you could say I'll be taking a "glycation vacation." That probably sounds like a lot more fun than it deserves to.

Two more moderately interesting things about this glycation-annihilation wonder-mask:

1. It looks like silly putty mixed with a hint of canned Alpo.
2. It smells like slightly off peppermint. Like, if you had a peppermint lotion that you really liked, so you were saving it and not using it very often, then one day a few years after you first opened it, you realized that the smell had started to turn. I have decided to name this smell "poopermint" (sorry).

Ooooh - a free sample from Shopper's

This little treasure is a useless pile of three miniscule lipsticks. They all look ugly. They will most certainly dry out after the first or second application, as you can't reseal the packet once opened. They are a waste of our country's manufacturing resources.

I will give them to a teenager, who will find them charming and fun. I, however, am a grown-a$$ lady, and I prefer at least a little Barbie-size sample like the ones Avon gives out. (Yes, I do realize that my argument is tantamount to the old classic from Annie Hall, "This food is terrible, and the portions are so small!" /paraphrase/)

Honestly, though, when your company is mailing out the same samples that can be had by the handful at every drug store cosmetics counter in town, you may want to start thinking of the morality behind what you are "selling". Guess I'm the sucker for keeping subscribed, right? But I neeeeeed to bllllllogggggg!

Deja vu all over again

Which brings us, dear reader, to the final insult in this grab bag of miserable injury.

The same damn foundation sample I got last month!!!!!!!

Also, clearly marked not for individual sale. Wait, two isn't enough?! Well, I can always go to Shopper's and get 5 more, just by asking and smiling nice at the cosmetics lady.

Honestly, Topbox, if you're gonna cheap out and pretend that drug store samples are actually small-size luxury items that will be coveted by women across the nation, at least send different ones each month! Ugh. Can we not just pretend in this together? You are shattering my wilful denial that your box is actually worth keeping paying for. I am starting to hate you a little bit.

And another thing: WHY IS IT THE EXACT SAME SHADE?!? What are the odds that anyone receiving this is going to be able to use it??? I'm going to be generous and say maybe 1 in 10, but honestly I doubt it's that many. (NB this might actually look okay on me once I get a little more tanned. I will pack it to take to Mexico at Christmas. Here's hoping I am sorely wrong about the value of this product.)

My handsome boy <3

Actually, you know who really likes this? The dog. Rocky thinks it is just fantastic, better than the chicken bits in his mostly not-chicken bits dog food. I put some on the back of my hand, and he just licked and licked and licked. Maybe if I put some in the bathroom, I can get him to clean the toilet. 

So, it comes to this. I am paying $13.60 a month for a box of (mostly) free samples. In addition to the samples, I get the thrill of receiving mail that is not bills, and a guaranteed blog topic. Is it worth it? Ummm...the jury's still out, but I'm in for another month or two at least.

Some people say Topbox used to be better. If you can shed any light on this, please let me know in the comments. Also, I'd love to hear of any ideas you might have for boxes I might like better. I will say, though, it's more fun to write a cranky blog than an effusive one, so there is that.

Thanks for reading! xoxo

Topbox September 2013 Review!

OOOoooohhhh, Topbox...why you gotta make it so hard for me to get my snark on?

I got this month's Tobox on Tuesday. As these boxes have gotten progressively better, it is becoming progressively more difficult for me to write a sneering review. Don't worry, some of the products themselves still suck, but the sheer number of items, combined with a couple of real winners, make the September Topbox well worth the $13.56 that was charged to my Amex a couple of weeks ago.

So...let's get started:

Chock full of all the information that shows up free in your Facebook feed!

This month's box is bigger than usual, to accommodate Chatelaine, a magazine that seems to be everywhere, but I don't know a single person who reads it. Heck, I even subscribe to Chatelaine and I don't read it. ($1/month add-on to our Rogers bill, and I take them to school for the kids to cut up when decorating their poetry.)

Obviously, this is a good marketing move for Chatelaine, because they'll be able to up their ad rates by posting bigger distribution numbers. I probably still won't read it. I will, however, gladly accept it to add to my cut-up pile.

It's not you, it's me.

Next up, we have another baby moisturizer sample. At 5mL, it might be more accurately described as fetal, even, but whatever. I have no need of facial cream samples. I am blindly devoted to Lancome, which is expensive and awesome and one of the few things I go all out and spend way too much money on 'cause I like it so much. (Lancome also has the best gifts with purchase, and they run them about 3 or 4 times a year.)

I've taken to throwing these little gems into my purse and using them for hand creams when out-and-about. This one is creamy and it smells nice, and I have no doubt that it will keep my hands from getting red and chapped this winter.

Why do you exist? Really.

Here we have an "anti-aging primer", which is basically just a light moisturizer. Anyone who believes a cream will help fix fine lines and wrinkles should really check out this all-in-one wonder product called Snake Oil. They should pay absolutely top dollar for it, to a huckster selling things off the back of an old-timey wagon. Perhaps I can find some to sell to them.

Bottom line: the only thing that will make you look younger is plastic surgery. Botox! Facelift! Restylane! Anything else is simply going to add moisture to your skin, which is inherently anti-aging, as your skin will not crack and wrinkle as much if it is not dry. People should just pick a moisturizer that they like the texture and smell of, and that makes them happy and is appropriate for their skin type/what they want it to do. Products like this, pushing the idea that a person needs a "primer" before putting on make-up, as if he or she is a slab of drywall, just get on my nerves. Ugh. Anyway, this is light, smells okay, and will have a happy life at the bottom of my purse, periodically moisturizing my dry winter lizard-hands.

*nb - I will admit that while primers are of no value to me, there are many people (maybe with oily skin?) who swear that their make-up lasts longer if they apply primer first. So, YMMV.

There is a debate on the value of primers...

I think you came from expired stock :(

This is a sample of Bourjois Paris mascara, probably 1/4 of the full size one, which sells for $20 at Shoppers. That is pretty pricey for a drug store mascara, so it must be awesome, right?

Maybe. Mine is really dry and doesn't come close to giving me "10x more volume." I've been using it for the last 3 days, and it differs from my Lancome Hypnose mascara in 2 ways: 1) my lashes look smaller and a little clumpy, and 2) it is really hard to get off! Not a product I will be adding to my collection.

You make the whole September Topbox worth it!

This is a full-sized bottle of Wella Professionals heat protection spray. I am very happy with this product. Not only is it in a good enough size to use it for awhile and really get a feel for it, but it also works well and smells good.

I always use heat spray when straightening or curling my hair. I'm not picky about the brand - just whatever's on sale is what I get. I honestly have never noticed much of a difference, except Biolage smells the best to me. I would definitely buy this if it were on sale when I went to pick up a spray.

Charming and lethally gorgeous, for about 3 hours.

This little thing is listed as a "bonus" on the product card that comes with the box. It is a sample of Katy Perry Killer Queen perfume. Apparently it is "Floriental". I'm not even kidding. Is that a word? Spell-check doesn't think so.

The name makes me imagine a "very special episode" of Ru Paul's Drag Race, where things take a decidedly dark turn.

Anyway, it is supposed to be "charmingly playful yet lethally gorgeous," I find it both musky and fruity. I put it on at 8, and couldn't smell it any more by 11, which is probably par for the course with drug store perfume. I don't always wear perfume, but when I do it's by (surprise twist) Lancome: Tresor or Miracle. Omg, why don't they just hire me already?!?

And that's about it for the September Topbox. Let's do a value tally, shall we?

Chatelaine magazine:                    $1 (via Rogers, prob ~$5 at the store?)
Lise Watier moisturizer:               $8.00/5mL ($48/30mL)
Cover FX primer                           $6.30/5mL ($38/30mL)
Bourjois Paris mascara                 $5.00 (?)(Full size is $20)(Really, kind of worthless and dried out.)
Wella heat spray                           $14 (yesssss!)
Katy Perry perfume sample           ~free at make-up counters everywhere~

TOTAL:                                        $34.30* value to the individual may vary...

Another pretty good month! I will subtract $5 for the crummy mascara, but add $5 for surprise/entertainment value. If Topbox can keep this pace up, I'm definitely on board for the next few months at least.

What did you get in Topbox or other subs this month? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!! xoxo

August Top Box Review! (w/pics)

Well, another month, another Top Box! And let me begin by saying that this month's box is waaay better than July's disappointing crap-fest. This month gives me hope for the future. Supposedly Top Box is sending out some pretty good stuff throughout the fall, and August is a pretty good start.

Once again, I got the regular Top Box with 4 items. I will never choose the Privé boxes, due to my love of the unknown: good or bad, I'd rather be surprised when I open that lovely cardboard tube.

Best song I know about loving the unknown

So let's begin!

Gardener's best friend!

Belvada Coloured Tweezers
List Price: $5.00

"...will make tweezing easy (okay...) and fun (!)"

I have several pairs of tweezers already (doesn't everybody?), and they all cost a lot more than $5, but I guess I can use these? I tried to pluck a couple of close-lying eyebrow hairs, and I was not able to get the job done with these. I much prefer my razor-sharp and thin Revlon tweezers, but I suppose I can throw these in my First Aid Kit. I can also see myself using them to pluck slugs off the hostas, maybe.

You are not nearly as nasty as you look!

Clinique - Almost Lipstick in Black Honey

Full Size: $19
Approx. value - $4.50 (?)

Wellll...this is the first product yet that I'd actually consider buying. Wow - this stuff is awesome. When I first saw it, I thought it looked like another cast-off from the Island of Unsellable Colours. I was WRONG! Supposedly transparent pigment looks slightly different on each person, depending on your base lip colour. On me it looks like a slightly dark cherry colour, with a bit of gloss to it. Fabulous! It also stays on for a few hours, similar to the lipsticks I usually wear.

The only thing that will probably prevent me from buying this is that I *hate* Clinique's packaging. I just think it looks ugly and dull, especially compared to my two favourite cosmetics lines from MAC and Lancóme.

Lise Watier - Ombre Soufflé Supréme Eye Shadow

Full size: $24, approx. value $5 (except not really because this is obviously a sample that you could get for free if you know where to ask for it.)

Pretty shiny! Pretty messy! Pretty pretty!

This product is just lovely. I'm not usually a fan of cream shadows; I find them a little messy compared to my trusty old pots from MAC. Despite the slightly messy application, this shadow goes on smoothly and evenly, and it stays on all day. These are both colours I would wear, being light and shimmery, so I'm extra happy about that. I'll definitely use this package up, and I will consider buying this in the future, especially if Lise Watier happens to have a good "gift with purchase" promo. It just depends on if I can get past the goopy mess or not. Time will tell.

Dark, strange and creepy

Avon MEGA Effects mascara

Full size: $12 (9g)

Here we have a strange and wondrous item. Apparently the "imagineers" over at Avon have been trying to find a new way for people to get black gunk on their eyelashes. Because a traditional wand is so difficult and ineffective? Hmmmm...I've worn mascara nearly every day since I was 16. Let's do the math on that:

22 years x 365 days = 8030 mascara applications with a wand. Add in a few more for all those times I just went over the morning's mascara before going out for the evening, and we'll call it an even 8200.

Suffice it to say that I'm *really good* at putting on mascara with a wand. Like, a pro, almost. I am also, apparently, really bad at putting on mascara with a centipede-like wedge. I have tried this product for the last two days, and I have also jabbed myself in the eye with this product for the last two days. I even got mascara on my contact lenses, as well as my lower lid. On top of that literal poke in the eye, I can't get enough leverage/pressure to build the mascara up for thickening or lengthening. I am an Avon MEGA Effects failure.

I'm not going to complain too much, though, because I really respect this product's designers for thinking outside the (Top)box. (Or tube, I guess.) At least this product is different and wacky, compared to the banal moisturizer samples I got last month. Props to Top Box for entertainment value.

To wrap, here's the value breakdown of this month's selections:

Tweezers:                      $5.00
Lip-stuff:                       $4.50
Eye shadow:           (I refuse to give this sample a value)
Disturbing mascara:     $12.00

GRAND TOTAL:        $21.50

Not bad, Top Box. Not bad at all. Adding up the entertainment value (which is really my primary interest) and the actual retail value, I feel that I certainly got my money's worth this month. Here's hoping they can keep it up!

What other items are floating around out there this month? Did anybody else get this Top Box, and what did you think? Let me know in the comments! Also, please feel free to post links to your own reviews...

Thanks for reading!! xoxo

Easy Summer Flower Mani!

Ahhhh, summer! So many lazy days to fill by doing seasonal-themed manicures!! Flowers are my fave, and today's blog post will show how to do an easy, summery, Hawaiian-y flower design.

"Let's Talk Dirty in Hawaiian" by Those Darlins Feel free to listen to the mood music if it suits ya!

To start, you will need the following:

• Base coat
• Quick-dry top coat
• Bright colour polish (I used Essie Mod Square)
• White polish
• Dotting tools
• Nail jewels
• Nail glue
• Tweezers to position jewels
• Cotton & remover to clean your tools

Nestled in a lovely basil plant

This is a great set of nail jewels. One side is little compartments of clear/diamond-y jewels, and the other side is colourful ones. There are lots of different shapes and sizes to pick from.

This kit is available at Sally Beauty, in store or here.

Nestled in a smaller, but equally lovely basil plant

Another product I had to use today is this: nail polish thinner. If you have been throwing out old, goopy polishes, let me save you now! I put 4 drops of this into about a half-full, pretty thick bottle of Essie, and it came out practically new after a few good shakes.

Some people on the internet say you can do the same thing with nail polish remover, but I really trust very little that people say on the internet (aside from celebrity gossip, of course.)

I think I got this one at Winners, but you can find a couple of other options here at nailpolishcanada.com.

This is the thinned-out, almost like new, Essie Mod Square.

Okay! I think we're ready to go!

Step One: Paint those nails! Don't forget to use base coat along with quick-dry, high-shine top coat, or Santa won't come this year. Also your nails will look dull and the mani won't last very long.

Also, if your top coat's not quick-dry, it will take forever before you can move on Step Two. You will also no doubt have to find your keys or something and wreck it. This is known as Smudgie's Law in the nail polish world.

I bet you can do better than this, no?

Step Two: Using a larger-size dotter, make 5 round dots in a sort-of circle shape where you want the flower to be.

For this mani, I'm doing flowers on both ring fingers, as well as my right thumb.

Because we're going to add dots and jewels, the flowers don't have to be so perfect on this mani. Just do it the best you can. I'm really not a perfectionist. 

Looks mangled right now. I promise it gets better.

Step Three: As soon as you get the dots done, grab your pointiest dotter (or a round toothpick) and drag from the center of each dot into the center of the "flower". This will create the petal effect.

Getting better!

Step Four: Take various sizes of dotters to make larger to smaller dots coming out of the petals of the flower.

I like to aim for a sort-of spiral pattern, but it would probably also look nice if you went with smaller dots in a random pattern.

I prefer the glue with a brush, as I think it's easier to control
and less likely to dry out quickly.

Step Five: It's Jewel Time!

This is my favourite part. I just love nail jewels: picking them out, placing them on, gazing at them endlessly. Love. It.

Anyhoo, put a dab of glue in the centre of your flower, then stick a jewel on it. Make a veritable nest of glue, and you can use the tweezers to press the jewel in and make slight adjustments.

Is this not the definition of nice and shiny? 

Step Six: Top Coat Time!

The white polish will probably still be a bit tacky, so make sure you blob a ton of top coat it on and spread it over the nail with very little pressure. This is essential if you want to avoid streaking your design. If you want your flower to look like it's a speeding cartoon, then by all means apply lots of pressure in the top coat phase.

Once it dries, you can always do another top coat to smooth it out if it's blobby or uneven.

Peekaboo! Top coat on you!

Here are some pictures to compare before and after top coat is applied to the final design. It really does make the mani.

I had a teenager tell me once that she never used top or basecoats, because she didn't want to "waste" her money on polish that is not a colour. 

Teenagers! Crazy, no??

Do you have a favourite flower design? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!! xoxo

Topbox Review: Remember Gumby? He's back! In nail polish form.

So...have you heard of this recent phenomenon called a "box subscription"? It's that thing where you pay a monthly fee to a marketing company, and they send you a box of assorted items once a month. Ideally, you love the sample products soooo much that you cannot resist purchasing regular-size versions of them from the company's website, thereby providing another revenue stream for the company in question. You can subscribe to such a wide variety of types of boxes, from pet toys or treats, to gourmet cooking items, to beauty samples. Subscription boxes combine your love of small samples with the excitement of getting mail. They will make you feel like somebody really cares.

This is my first month receiving a package from Topbox, a beauty products subscription service. It costs $12/package, and is billed monthly to my credit card. Ostensibly, the products you receive are a stunning value, representing far more than the meagre $12 you invest. This point is debatable at best, which I'll discuss below. Despite my reservations about the actual value of the box I received, I will continue to subscribe for at least a few more months, as it gives me something to blog about. And getting mail makes me feel like somebody really cares.

I would also like to point out that Topbox holds a unique position in the subscription box market. At $12 ($13.56 incl tax), it is one of the cheaper options. Also, the company has a set number of subscribers, so you have to go on a waiting list for about 2 months before you are even allowed to subscribe. I suspect this creates a psychological effect of scarcity and exclusivity for some people, wherein they feel special and privileged to be "accepted" into the Topbox circle. I know I was pretty happy to have made it off the wait list. I am starting to feel like somebody really cares.

I am going to show you what came in my July 2013 Topbox, with approximate values and initial impressions.

You're kinda tiny, Tiny

"This 8[!?] in 1 multi-tasking beauty balm will provide all day hydration while brightening to instantly lift [my] look."

Tried it this morning. Seems okay, not much different than the literally hundreds of other moisturizers beauty balms you can buy.

Full size = $49/50mL
I'm generously guessing this is 2mL?
Sooo...value = $2.04

Imma little scared of this one.

"Thickening sprayable gel/provides up to 70% more volume and heat protection."

Both? or 35% of each? or maybe a 30/40 split? Hmmmm...

Haven't tried this one yet, and I'm kind of terrified what 70% more volume on my head might look like. For once, I'm hoping that the beauty claims are highly exaggerated, which they always are.

Full size = $16.70/200 mL
Value = $2.51

This product should be satirical.

"Pure 24k Gold [sic] flakes as well as Pearl Protein help..." Wait! What?
Effing gold flakes??

Well, that just makes me feel like an a$$hole.

Ugh. Yes, apparently gold and pearl have the little-known and miraculous ability to "stimulate blood flow, build up Amino Acids [sic] and add a healthy glow to the skin for Summer [sic]."

They don't know the difference between proper and common nouns, and they want me to believe that gold will improve my complexion.


If you have 6 minutes and free wi-fi, do check out what David Cross has to say about the gold leaf:

David Cross: Tasteless, Odorless


Full size = $60/60mL
2mL here? Value = $2.00
(Putting gold on your face = priceless)

Okay Mom, I'm ready for my drive to the mall. Moooommmm...let's gooooo!!!

The 4th and final item in my July 2013 Topbox is China Glaze "Keepin it Teal" jelly polish, from their Summer 2013 jelly collection.




Ehhh, it's okay. I googled it, and the polish reviewers are all losing their sh*t about how great it is (maybe girls be pimpin' for some free product?) I'm not a fan of the jelly finish, and this polish is decidedly Gumby-coloured, once you apply the 6 coats needed for opacity. In fact, I decided to put that evaluation to the test, and did a Gumby and Pokey mani:

OMG I used to love Gumby and Pokey so much. <3

If you're going to wear a colour that's fit for tweens, you might as well go all-out cartoon on it, amirite?

Whatevs. I like nail art, so I'll gladly add whatever they send to my nail wall. (Ignoring the little voice in my head that's lecturing about how jellies are too thin for nail art. Shut up, Little Voice. I want to feel like I got a bargain here.)

Ah, Little Voice might be right. The Topbox insert insists that this polish is worth $10-12, (minus some off if you allow for the fact that you didn't get to pick the colour ~10% seems about right), but if you pay that much, YOU ARE BAD AT SHOPPING!

Here it is for $6.95 at the first place I checked.

So...

Real value = $6.95 (Let's be magnanimous and call it $7.98 including tax)

Sooo...

Moisturizer Beauty Balm:                $2.04
Volumizer that scares me:                $2.51
Gold leaf jerk cream:                       $2.00
Gumby tween polish:                       $7.98

TOTAL:                                           $14.53 (I paid $13.56)

Sooo...not bad I guess, but none of these products is an awesome, spectacular deal, and I suspect that the cream samples (or their equivalents) can easily be had for free at Sephora, The Bay, Shoppers, Sears, etc...

I do also like getting mail, so there's that.

I'll keep up with Topbox for a couple of months, but at a yearly cost of $144 ($165.60 incl tax), I am hesitant. I just don't like getting mail that much.

Do you subscribe to any boxes? What are your opinions of them? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!! xoxo

Book Reviews! Sister Carrie and An American Tragedy

Okay, this won't really be a review, but more like a reaction...I hate spoilers sooo much that I don't think I can write a real review, as that would require me to give away plot and character details. Plus, obviously these are "good" books: both are American classics.

When I read a book or pick a movie to watch, I aim to know as absolutely little about it as possible. I never read the back or watch trailers if I can help it. Basically, if it's by an author I like, a genre I enjoy, and maybe the setting appeals to me, I'm ALL IN.

So...that brings me to Theodore Dreiser.

Careful, Theodore! I think that room you're in
might be haunted!!

Dreiser was an American fella who wrote throughout the early 20th Century. He lived from 1871-1945.

His novels are part of realist/naturalist movement. In a nutshell, that means that you can expect ideas about environment and heredity affecting characters, their ambitions and place in society. Naturalism exists kind of in contrast to other movements from around the same time, such as Surrealism or Romanticism.

These are my favourite kinds of novels!! They can be a little pessimistic and depressing, but I'm just really interested in what happens to characters when they chase their ambitions in different environments. Also, for some reason, I just love stories set in oldie-times America or Europe. I also really like stories that show class differences and what happens when oldie-times people try to move between classes. I think it's because Annie was one of my first and most beloved movies ever. Got bit by the bug, I guess...

This pic is so cool. I would get a poster of it if I could...

So, I've spent the past three weeks or so reading these two novels. I started with Sister Carrie because I heard a podcast where they said I should read it, and I agreed with that assessment. It was written in 1900, but is set in 1890: my kind of book!

Without spoiling too much, it is really, really good if you like books about people and environments. Otherwise, you will probably find it boring.

I LOVED it!

Sister Carrie is a teen-aged girl (before that was really a thing), who leaves the farm to seek...something...in Chicago. The book opens on her train journey towards a new life, and that's all the spoiling you'll get from me!!

There are several characters who get the unlimited omniscient treatment, which is something I always enjoy. Good things happen, bad things happen, and I kept reading and reading and reading. Highly recommend!

Would you trust this man?

I liked Sister Carrie soooo much that I was disappointed when it ended - not by the ending, but that there was no more book left to read. And also a little bit by the ending. Thus, I opened up the Kindle store and bought An American Tragedy, hoping to keep the good times rolling. ("Good times" really in no way relating to the content of the stories.) It was like $6 because it's super-old...nobody wants to read it anymore? Sad...

The downside of e-reading: no page numbers! Boooo. Your progress through the novel is represented in a percentage that you can tap on the bottom of the screen to see. Due to my aforementioned hatred of spoilers, even those that relate to book length, I never look at the percentage read display. However, I suppose there is some subconscious security that I get from a paperback book, where I know approximately where I am in the progression of the story. This only bothers me in longer novels, and holy smokes this novel is LOOOONNNGGGG! The mass market paperback offered on Amazon shows it at 896 pages. I just kept thinking it was almost over, then...more book! It's actually 3 books in one, and each really is a stand-alone story in the main character's life, building on what came before it.

I totally enjoyed this novel, and would recommend it to readers who have a lot of time to devote to it. You spend so long reading it, it's like you will miss it when it's over...lots of good and bad things happen. Dreiser is especially good at creating a sort-of anti-hero: a character who does some horrible things, but you kind of understand his mind and background, and maybe root for him a little bit. You end up feeling sympathy, empathy, disgust, horror, love, sadness...what a ride! This book also gave me lots to think about regarding the title. What is the nature of tragedy? In what myriad ways is this book tragic? Why is this specifically an "American" tragedy? Well done, Mr. Dreiser!

This is the Green-Davidson Hotel in Kansas City, where Clyde gets his first
taste of the good life.

BTW - fair warning - this is *not* a feel-good story. But I guess you could probably guess that from the title.

One thing I think is interesting about this novel (written in 1925) compared to Sister Carrie (1900) is how much more explicitly Dreiser is able to portray the romantic relationships. I mean, it's not exactly 50 Shades of Gray or anything (which, my grandmother, Rainy, gleefully declares to be "absolutely filthy!"), but in the earlier novel, while "inappropriate" adult relationships are apparent, they are never directly described or addressed. Here, they are not only alluded to, but also "explicitly" described in the most artful and subtle way. Surprisingly (or not) it was banned in Boston in 1927 for being obscene.

Ain't no bellhops here.

This is interesting, also, when compared to the reaction to D.H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover. An American Tragedy is not even close to as, um, "romantically detailed" as Lady Chatterley's Lover, which was written only three years later, and is waaay more explicit. Lawrence's novel was published in an edited form in 1930 the US, and eventually published unabridged in the UK in 1958. Penguin Publishing faced an obscenity lawsuit for publishing it, but was eventually found not guilty of publishing obscene material.  Contrastingly, with An American Tragedy, an assistant editor to the publisher was actually convicted for "selling an obscene, indecent or impure book", a conviction that was later upheld by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts. Is it possible that Americans were more conservative than Europeans back then? (Hmmm...)

Anyway, don't seek out this novel if you're looking for juicy affairs or anything: check out 50 Shades or one of its hundreds of knock-offs for that. However, if you want a compelling and interesting plot, insanely developed character study, and a book that will consume many, many hours of your life, An American Tragedy is the book for you!

What are you reading this summer? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!! xoxo